thirty moments?

Ok, I know I am supposed to be too young for heated conversations about hot flashes or stammering statements about forgetfulness, but I swear, I am losing my marbles. I feel like if something isn't written down, in sharpie, I can't be sure that I will remember it.

I managed to miss out on a meeting today that I was actually excited to go to. I got caught up in something that was actually a bit of an emergency, but even afterwards- I didn't even think about the fact that I had stood someone up, completely without warning or explanation.

I'm not sure If I feel worse about wasting someone else's very valuable time, or that I seem to be approaching my grandmother's dementia at a rapid pace. htis is not entirely a joke either. Both of my grandparents (on mom's side) have Alzheimer's diagnoses. I think its a bit more complicated than that, but either way, there is some obvious mental deterioration for both of them- but AFTER 80, not at thirty!!

Today, I had a bit of a fog about me, I just knew something was going to get lost in the mix. of course I had just hoped it was going to be the typical laundry or homework. I feel like as a student, I really do work on "sharpening my mind" as everyone says a possible Alzheimer's patient should. But maybe the type of sharpening I do is far to emotional, meandering and not enough finite, calculated memorization. In Psych 101 I learned about how learning is a combo. of properly encoding information and then being able to effectively retrieve it. I think I am maybe missing something in both of those departments.

I don't think there is enough sudoku or L- Carnitine in the world to make me a natural savant or even a little less attached to my day planner, but perhaps if I recite my to do list using a catchy cadence I might be a little less likely to feel like I'm 30 going on 85.

pass the prunes, grandma, I think I might join you for some bingo tonight.